Listeners' Reflections
This is your place to publicly comment on the topics and issues addressed in Speaking of Faith programs. React in a personal way, and put into words what this program meant to you.
Submit Your Reflection about "Play, Spirit, and Character."
Stage of Life (August 19, 2008)
While listening to the interview with Stuart Brown, what immediately came to mind was the theatre where I met my wife. Called Living Stage, it was an outreach of Arena Stage in Washington, D.C., and it promoted play for play’s sake through improvisational theatre.
The founder, Bob Alexander, often said "when in the act of creation, you are sane and whole." It was the first time that I not only saw professional people granting permission to play but insisting on it, celebrating it, elevating it to a level of necessity. For fundraising purposes, the theatre always had to find ways to justify its existence by citing the kind of benefits of play that Dr. Brown cites, but to Bob, such rationale was offensive and reflective of social norms that he was actively fighting.
To him, the benefits of free play were self-evident and crucial to the physical, emotional and spiritual development of all ages. Living Stage evangelists (of which I count myself) championed that message everywhere they went, especially to underprivileged youth, severely handicapped children and incarcerated adults.
Bob died recently and at a memorial service in D.C. (there was more than one held around the country) people reflected on the profound impact Living Stage and Bob had on their lives. I think it’s wonderful that this discussion of play was part of an ongoing exploration of faith. For me, there is no better religious or spiritual practice than creative play. There is no doubt in my mind that if more people embraced play as Living Stage did — as crucial to our well-being rather than strict adherence to dogmas — we would have less conflict in the world.
Dan Baum
Arnold, MD (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Timelessness and Calm (July 27, 2008)
Mr. Brown describes the human need for and benefits from moments of timeliness such as experienced with children or when encountering sheer joy. I experience this phenomenon on a daily basis because I interact with pets. There is no guile and unlimited joy in the greeting of a beloved dog when one returns home from work (or even from a brief trip to the curb). A sense of timelessness and calm may be experienced when stroking a purring cat. I previously haven't been able to explain to those who don't understand or enjoy interactions with animals what part of the attraction is for me, but now maybe I will be able to do so. Further, studies have shown that pet owners accrue health benefits. Perhaps these windows of timelessness are part of the reason why.
Beth Alonso
Luther, OK (KOSU, 91.7 FM)
Permission to Play (July 27, 2008)
I work with a 62-year-old person who doesn't know how to play. Any semblance of making work fun, being playful at work, is seen as wasteful and is prohibited. He is rigid (a consequence mentioned by Stuart Brown) and can be very negative. Unfortunately, though I played throughout my childhood and can be a playful person, being in this environment has taken a great toll on my creativity and joy for life. Thank you for permission to play!
Mary Beth Robertson
Linwood, NE (KIOS, 91.5 FM)
Validation (July 27, 2008)
Thank you, thank you, thank you for your rebroadcast of "Play, Spirit + Character"!! I felt very validated by Dr. Brown's ideas! When my three middle-schoolers were toddlers, I got 'gut' frustrated with 'the books' on parenting, even though I was a baccalaureate RN certified and working in psych nursing. So I put the books aside and started parenting by my gut, which I've been doing ever since.
I feel kids must be free to take (reasonable) risks and be encouraged to develop independent decision-making skills and self-sufficiency. I see far too many well-meaning parents who have their kids over scheduled and overprotected, and it seems to me that these kids lack a certain degree of 'common sense' that my kids seem to have in spades.
Thanks for delivering a dire message to parents and society at large!
Rebecca Kotula
Montpelier, VT (WVPS, 107.9 FM)
The Play's the Thing (July 25, 2008)
It's pure Shakespeare. In life itself we have acts, exits and entrances. We must ACT in order to bring life into motion and it's definitely about E Motion, that energy that propels us all and gives us sensibility (emotion). I have been watching children play and they are enacting the roles they will have in the future. Who hasn't watched a little girl, even a child less than three, put her doll babies to bed? My little grandson, just six months, is examining the wheels of plastic trucks and is fascinated by gears.
Play is also the imaginative Source that is endless.
The childhood songs are so evocative of the adult lives we lead, song games such as Go In and Out the Windows, as surely we all do, and Ashes, Ashes, we all Fall Down. How deep it gets when we examine the words themselves.
Some years ago I went to Venezuela to help a team of scientists and doctors who were working with the people around Lake Maracaibo, those in the barrios, who were suffering from the so far inevitably fatal and degenerative disease called Huntington's. The children, who had very little and no access to schools, were flying kites made of ragged, torn clothing. There is no end to the creativity and urge and impulse to play. It's coming from a deeper Source and that which inspires and fuels us all.
So YES! how important it is to play. Shakespeare was so right and the "Plays the thing!"
Ruth Housman
Newton, MA (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Unbelievable Video (March 17, 2008)
The "Animals at Play" was absolutely unbelievable! I have dogs and cats and they can't get along. Then I watch this of the polar bear and the husky, and I wonder what is wrong with my animals. From school (I am 68), I have been taught and read how vicious the polar bear is/can be. It really does a person good, good to see these exact opposite animals stop and play, then come back each day for a week. Think the opposite sides in the human kind of America could ever get to the polar bear and the husky's playing? We can only hope! Thank you so much for this video.
Alberta Diffenderfer
Palo Verde, CA (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
The Paradox of Empathy and Anger (December 18, 2007)
I agreed with Dr. Brown's view of play and found his thoughts very intriguing. I do see play as an important part of human life, but it is obviously not necessary. I myself was very fortunate growing up. I had a stay-at-home mom, which allowed me to spend my entire childhood days playing, not being restricted by the boundaries of daycare. I am one of a set of triplet boys, so I always had playmates. There was also obviously a lot of rough play, which sometimes crossed the line between play and fighting. There was at times a lot of competition between the three of us, which was, like Dr. Brown points out, probably more unhealthy than healthy. I suppose there is still an element of competition between us today.
I can relate to what Dr. Brown said about how rough play develops the feeling of empathy towards others; that a child will tend to not be as hurtful in play because he or she knows the pain. I definately remember feeling this as a young boy. I would restrain myself from causing a lot of pain to my brothers because I knew what it felt like and could not help but care for them. I never once punched one of my brothers in the face. I know this is because no matter how angry I was, my love for them prevented me from wanting to cause them great pain or injury. It is strange how one can be emphathetic and angry at the same time isn't it.
Mitchell Ward
Plymouth, MN (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Polar Bear and Dog Play (December 12, 2007)
I so appreciate seeing these images, but every time I look at them, smile, and tear up it brings up this question: Did the dog and the polar bear meet before (as in childhood encounters), particularly since the dog is chained. Were the humans in sight or hidden in vehicle or building? Thank you sincerely for posting this. Vielen Dank.
Gabriella Bertelmann
Denver, CO (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Polar Bear and Husky at Play (October 3, 2007)
I am sitting here bawling. Full on, tears streaming. Why can't all creatures of this mortal coil, get along like this? I will hold these images in my mind's eye, for the rest of my life. God Bless.
Sherry Wynn
Olympia, WA (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Homo Ludens (September 27, 2007)
What I particularly liked about this edition of Speaking of Faith, which I listen to often, was its suggestiveness. Although one hour is not enough time to explore deeply all of play's dimensions, you managed to touch on several. The connection between human beings and other animals through play is especially interesting and important to me. Henry David Thoreau is, in my view, someone who was keenly alive to the ludic dimensions of experience, and described a merlin's flight over Walden Pond as deeply playful. An interest in play in nature led me to an interest in playfulness of various kinds in American nature writing, a project I am still working on. It's very interesting how many aspects of play inform our desires to connect with the more-than-human. I believe it's because in play we find a spirit that transcends the human-nature divide. Play is, in so many ways, transcendent. I appreciate you doing this kind of show. It gets one thinking in many dimensions. Thank you.
William Stott
Carrboro, NC (Listens to SOF Podcast)
Warm Smile (September 19, 2007)
Your "Animals at Play" video link was recently sent to me via e-mail. Gotta tell ya, it gave me a warm smile on a day that had been full of tension.
Thomas Powell
Pensacola, FL (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
We Have Only Ourselves to Blame (September 11, 2007)
I read this article and found it to be something that everyone should read. Especially people who don't feel that animals have intelligence. My one question is why would we think that all creatures aren't intelligent? Could it be that we aren't intelligent enough to see their intelligence? Or is it if we see them as intelligent we won't be able to eat them because it would be like eating a human? We will hear people say that animals don't communicate with each other, but how can we say this if we can't talk their language? Is this showing our ignorance? We have seen where dogs will learn our speech; my birds even talk. You will hear people say they don't know the meaning of those words, but why is it that they use them in the correct context? Children as we were growing up did exactly the same thing that my birds do. We learned the sounds of words and then the meaning. We have such a hard time when people say these creatures do understand, they do love and hate, and they feel pain and suffering. Because if one knows that these creatures suffer and suffer greatly while on this earth, down to the day of their torturous deaths, we would have to make changes, and we just can't do that. We love flesh too much. As I watched the video of the dogs and the polar bear it once again showed me that this earth should have been different. It should have been a gift to all of us, not just humans, but to everything that lives on this earth. But it is man who has made it what it is, and that is sad since man was to be the intelligent species. We have only ourselves to blame for what has happened. That is the saddest part of all, to be called human, but to act like an animal!
Elizabeth Ferrari
Soddy Daisy, TN (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Rethinking Boys' Play (September 3, 2007)
Thank you so much for giving me insight into the raucous play between my son and his little boys. To me, the swords, guns, soldiers, strange looking bionic creatures and monsters delivered them to a world beyond their understanding and emotional age. I felt this play was robbing them of the purity and joy of childhood, learning empathy for living things and appreciating the loveable, cuddly things I perceived apropos for the early years.
None of this play necessarily made them frightful, angry, or overly aggressive, just loud and rambunctious. Thanks to your programming, I've paused to rethink these notions and have passed along the program for my daughter-in-law to hear so she could also better her understanding of what's going with the boys in her life. I will listen to the program again, as I do many of your programs, to give me more food for thought. Again, many thanks.
Noel Leicht
St. Louis, MO (KWMU 90.7 FM)
Play and Creative Intelligence (August 27, 2007)
I thought the interview with Dr. Brown was wonderful (of course I would since it reinforced my beliefs). I have spent many years as a facilitator in a Unitarian Universalist Youth Group for high school teenagers. These kids can play and they can be serious. Being around this age group helped me stay young and in touch with my playful self. I hope it helped them do the same. One 16 year old, after hearing one of my quips said, "You like to laugh at your own jokes, don't you?" My only response was yes. Once he had made his point he could laugh too, knowing I wouldn't stop.
I don't know that I am spiritual and so I would not, as Dr. Brown said, call something divine. But I have cried at the mesmerizing effect play has had. I could sit beside an artist drawing comic-like panels for hours, completely absorbed in his play. Piaget described learning as a intrinsic motivator, like hunger and thirst. I think play is one pathway to learning, and as Dr. Brown theorized in his interview, play helps one be better prepared for the unexpected. I wish we all could remember that some risk-taking behaviors are required for us to come close to realizing our potential.
Al Jette
South Burlington, VT (WVPR 89.5 FM)
A New Listener (August 26, 2007)
I had never heard your show until today. I was fascinated with the topic and with the connection with faith and spirit. I am an educator and I was first introduced to play as a child but then again as an early childhood educator. It was a difficult sell in the 70's to convince people and especially parents that play was learning. There was also the beginnings of play therapy then. Anyway, today's program confirmed notions from that early period. While we knew back then much of what was covered in the show, I enjoyed hearing the new insights and research that hold up over time. I have been looking at your archives and see that there are a number of programs I would like to listen to when I have the time. Thanks for a great show and I look forward to more. I intend to forward the mp3 to friends in education and while perhaps have my students listen to this one on play.
Brad Stocker
Miami, FL (WLRN 91.3 FM)
Finding Opportunities Through Fun (August 26, 2007)
Make believe play as a little girl was important, even though it was hard for me to play "family" as I was raised by my aunt and grandmother and had no siblings. It probably influenced my desire to have a lot of children which turned out to be not so much fun but lots of work. My husband's alcoholism later reared its ugly head and interfered with enjoyment of children and family. Anger, resentment, punishment (of children's behavior) took over and fun was not a meaningful part of my life for many years, even after my husband found sobriety through membership in AA.
Fear of the loss of my husband, even though it wasn't a loving relationship, finally brought me to the Al-Anon fellowship, for families and friends of alcoholics. It has taken years for me to recover from the effects of alcoholism, but I can say honestly that after 35 years in Al-Anon I know the meaning of fun and continue, at the age of 78, to search out new and meaningful ways to enjoy myself. Several years ago, for instance, while living on Long Island, I began to study Chinese brush painting. Disappointed in not finding opportunities to continue study when I moved to Florida, I pursued it when I went to visit family in California. It has brought me great joy and the promise of showing my work at exhibitions when I make a move west — continuing my search for fun and personal growth.
Christine Akin
Port St. Lacie, FL (WLRN, 91.3 FM)
Captivating (August 26, 2007)
I found your program on play featuring Stuart Brown absolutely captivating. Our country's, and perhaps the world's, romance with pretense and faux maturity, which has resulted in war and other unhappy behavior, has been a concern of mine for decades. From time to time, I try to think of ways to unbind our society from its cerecloth of too-pretentious-to-play. Kudos to you and Stuart Brown for the information aired today. Your program and S. Brown's research are truly a breath of fresh air, one that might help save the world from the all too frenetic, unplayful, fearful human race.
Nan Schweiger
Campbell, CA (KPCC, 89.3 FM)
Play and Teachers (August 26, 2007)
Some of my richest playful experiences have been in my work with teachers. I help teachers bring more play into their teaching through the use of puppets. Like a spark that needs the gap, the teachers make a leap into a behavior that has been dormant but which, with the puppets, bursts into flame and energy. This experience reveals the paradox that Heraclitus recognized: that the highest form of work may be found in child's play. Teachers who know how to bring play into the classroom are able to effectively turn the work of learning into something that's mindful, memorable, and uplifting.
Jeffrey Peyton
Richmond, VA (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Playing to Learn at Any Age (August 26, 2007)
Regarding play at work. I use a computer in my job a lot, but I'm not a computer programmer. I usually teach myself how to use new programs by getting a minimal amount of instruction from experts to get started. Whenever a colleague asks me for computer assistance, I provide as much specific instruction as I can and then add "you've just got to play with it." It's interesting how many people find that latter comment threatening — they just can't deal with the uncertainty of learning by "playing." If they don't know exactly what to do, they can't act. On the other hand, I don't know how many times I've discovered how to move along by trying every possible combination, even ones that seem to have no change. So, playing isn't just for children, it's the way we learn at any age.
Michael Lundeen
Lincoln, NE (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Tricky Art (August 26, 2007)
I'm just listening to your segment on play and I keep thinking of how much of what you are addressing is in sync with art. The issue of purposelessness for example — one might even think of art history as the history of what people have done for no purpose. Or the phrase your guest dropped, "looking for newness" also really gets to what art-making seeks out. But art is tricky in regards to play, as it can be a high stakes operation. Wasting eight hours in one's studio is a hard thing to come to terms with, and while it can be considered play and that is valid, there is another dimension to it, which involves trying to say something, to create meaning and so forth. It would have been neat to hear how art entered the conversation. And on that note, I'm wondering why I haven't heard more of your programs address art; perhaps the issue of transcendence or immanence or the rejection of either of these things.
Olivia Booth
Los Angeles, CA (KPCC, 89.3 FM)
Play Is the Common Behavior (August 25, 2007)
I have worked with children for the better part of 20 years. Through the lessons my students have taught me, I developed a program called "Pocketful of Magic." Pocketful of Magic is a gateway to playfulness. It supports the spirited, faithful nature of children's play. Over many years I've seen that the joyful state of play is bonding, emotionally educational, essential to deeper learning, critical thinking, the development of trust and faith in self and others. It forms the primary social structure among peers. It makes us grow. I've seen children in their thousands and none of them, not one, will refuse to play in their own way and time. Where else in the human community will you find a behavior that everyone agrees to?
Judyth Brown
Ocean, NJ (WNYC, 93.9 FM)
Changed My Approach to Life (August 25, 2007)
Growing up, play has changed many different ways and it's changed the way I've looked at sports also. I remember when I was about 10 my friends and I would spend 8-10 hours a day in the pool during the summer time. We would always think its fun to have speed races and who could hold their breath the longest under water. We would always get a group of friends together and play home run derby or get together and play basketball outside of someone's house. As we started to get older that friendly play wasn't there anymore. What I mean by this is that, becoming older and playing that same things was fun still, but it had more of a spot on winning the game or winning the race. We really didn't just go out to "play" — it was always "try your best and win." Now in adulthood it's not the same activities as it used to be, but my friends and I like to go out and play a little golf or do things at our leisure that isn't very big competition. You can't get me wrong, there's still competition out there but as your growing up you hit different stages in your life and the source of play starts off easy and goes to hard, but, when you become older, you want to "play" again!
I don't really remember many things that you could say shaped me as the person I am today but I felt that playing youth wrestling shaped me into a better child. Growing up I had two older brothers that wrestled and my dad was one of the coaches. Well, I thought it'd be cool to wrestle so I did. When I first started wrestling I was six years old and about 50 pounds. I was the smallest kid on the team, but I loved to do it and get out on the mat and wrestle people. As much as wrestling is a sport, I loved doing it and loved being on the team. Even though I was never allowed by league rules to actually have a match against another team I loved practicing with the team and going on road trips. When I became older I started to wrestle for team and individual pride, and that's when it became a sport. After 14 years of wresting I finally was burnt out and couldn't do it anymore. I think wrestling that early helped be gain values. I was able to look up to the older boys on the team. It definitely has shaped me into who I am today.
I think play has changed my approach to life because when I "play" I am able to just let loose and do the things I want and really not care about things. I feel that when I'm competing I'm more stressed out. Play has made me realize that everything should be taken with a grain of salt. It has made my life approach easier.
Danny Harris
Milford, OH (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
Faith in Sport (August 24, 2007)
Play has changed throughout my life tremendously. When I was smaller I would play games with friends with no worries or restrictions at all. As I began to age a lot of games that I would consider as play changed into more of a competition because of my competitive nature. I started to turn from nonrestrictive games and turn them into wanting to win all the time. The one thing I really enjoy now that I consider play would have to be running and working out. As I have gotten older I have realized how important it is to stay in shape. Exercising has become a form of play that I really enjoy to do.
I can remember times in my life that have shaped me into the kind of person and coach that I am today. When I was younger, I always had a good time during my sports even though I was the most competitive person I know. This has made me a coach who can instill having fun and enjoying your high school experience during your athletics while working hard to win. I can also remember times during play that my father instilled in me discipline and dedication which has been great attributes to me as a person and a professional. My father would tell me to be good at something you must work at it and never give up. Through this instruction that I received it has helped me stay dedicated to anything I do in life to get the best result. I can now stress to my teams that I coach that it is important in play, sport and life to give it your all and dedicate yourself to the thing you are doing.
Play has made me understand the importance to the things in life. It has showed me that winning isn't everything. There was a time in my life that I believed winning was everything and I would stop at no cost to win. My approach to life has changed from that to a more enjoyable time. I am still competitive but I know how to coach and teach others so they can always have a positive experience through the play in their life.
Chad Willhoff
Amelia, OH (Listens to SOF OnDemand)
The Uncensored Language of Play (August 24, 2007)
I have always valued play in a big way, as evidenced by my career and community choices of first being an occupational therapist, foster parent, coach, and child therapist. My most powerful experience of play came in my fostering experience. I was caring for a child who had spent most of her life (at the age of 9) in and out of residential facilities across this country. She had been abused in all the ways a child can be abused and naturally had huge control and trust issues. She was learning that my home was predictable and safe, but still her wariness was ever present.
She would often pull huge antics to see if things were as predictable as they seemed, or to see if we would reject her. When she began to realize it was as predictable and loving as it seemed, this frightened her. The controlling and violent behaviors increased, before they decreased big time. One day while reading stories on the bed, we got to playing a pushing game. It was ever so gentle as I didn't want to trigger anything in her past. I was also very aware of our location and how things could get triggered by that alone. She pushed me and I let myself fall over in play, and I did the same to her and she let herself fall over in play too. This went on for a while and was full of laughter and just plain playfulness, but the really cool thing about it was I could feel the long sought after connection beginning to be made. And I think what allowed it to happen, the beauty of the moment, was the risk involved.
In a way we both had to let go of the control, and play with the give and take of the moment. Yet the irony is, by letting go, this girl was more in control of her own impulses and triggers than ever before. She kept the play in the moment and gentle. In one second she was the orchestrator, in the next I was and that's the way it had to be to experience the pleasure of the play. We entered each other's lives in a different way. (I will say however, that in the midst of the play, I was also keenly aware of the importance of being the adult in the midst of the letting go and in the give and take of play. It's hard to explain how to be fully playful at a child's level and fully adult at the same time, but it happens.)
To let go of the need to control, and have fun, experience closeness and joy was an incredible lesson for this child, one she still remembers now at the age of 28, and one of which she wrote eloquently in her early twenties when she thanked me for helping her learn how to love when it would have been much easier to hate. Play is an incredible medium in which to connect with kids. It is their uncensored language, and their gift to those willing to bear witness to their internal world and their essence.
Jane Merrithew
Rumney, NH (WEVH, 91.3 FM)
A Reminder (July 24, 2008)
Thanks for the lovely pictures of the polar bear and the huskies. A useful reminder, in an often polarized (no pun intended) world, that profoundly different folks can find common joy. Thanks for a wonderful program!
Judy Austin
Boise, ID (KBSX, 91.5 FM)
Transformation (July 24, 2008)
I agree, "play" is good for humans. But to assert, we grow by any activity, I have to challenge. We only transform from one thing to another through constant change. "Growth" in any sense, is impossible, when the sum of all energies is a constant.
Bala Subramanian
Monroe, NJ (WNYC, 93.9 FM)
